GOP Bible: "OK, there's this real estate broker dude who promises to give some money to a church, but lied about the price. Because he was smart and kept some money for himself."

Regular Bible: ...and God struck Ananais dead. (Only time a "convert" to Christianity was struck dead for lying in the New Testament...except for his wife, who was also struck dead for going along with the lie)

Florida Bible: now, if that had been swampland - say around Orlando - then God would have rewarded him if he claimed he did it in self defense. We don't need no woke zombie sheep indoctrinating our swampland and I won the war on COVID woke hallelujah amen. Zombies? Don't they film Walking Dead in Georgia? How'd that work out for them? We'll have no Disney doing that to Florida.