Santa Claus is Running for Congress
https://unsplash.com/photos/r6r8JxhTWIk Photo of the Capitol Building by Vlad Tchompalov at Unsplash
Santa Photo by
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better vote soon
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is running for Congress.
He’s making a list
Knocking your door
Putting up signs, glad-handing some more
Santa Claus is running for Congress.
He sees you when you’re voting
And he knows if you’re a fake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good or go get baked…
Astonishing news from Anchorage! In grave times, children of the world sent letters pleading with Santa — Help, save us from Washington DC! In a world wracked by war and rumors of war, pandemic, economic collapse, and the horrifying possibility of reindeer poop falling upon our heads — Santa Claus has thrown his hat in the ring and declared that he is running to fill the vacant office as the Congressman from Alaska.
No “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” story of a naïf striving to make good — Santa Claus is a force of nature.
Only one man knows more about delivering packages than Jeff Bezos could ever learn.
Only one man knows more about your misbehavior than Google, Facebook, various unmentionable websites, and Vladimir Putin put together.
Only one man has mastered high-velocity aerodynamic reindeer maneuvers.
But let us be perfectly honest here: isn’t it good news that Santa Claus is an honest-to-God American after all?
